It’s been a while since I last wrote to you. To be honest, I’ve been feeling directionless with this newsletter because there’s an influx of people doing the same thing, and I didn’t really feel like what I was putting out there was valuable to anyone anymore. I was trying hard to be different and thinking of ways to make myself stand out. I tried making a podcast, then stopped recording after two episodes. I rebranded the newsletter and changed its name. I also stopped sharing recipes because I didn’t think anyone cared anymore. But by doing so, I also lost my sense of self. I had deprived myself of doing what I enjoy. I had forgotten about my own voice.
I had forgotten that this is what makes us all different from each other.
Perhaps I’ve been feeling a lot more emotional because of my Saturn Return. I turned 29 last month, and I’ve been mourning my youth. Everything was much easier in my early 20s when I didn’t have much responsibility or bills to pay. Life looks different now. Life is different now, but I’m figuring it out.
On a much lighter note, I’ve been snacking on cold apples with peanut butter and drinking a lot of iced matcha. This week, I watched The Northman (loved it) and Leave the World Behind (didn’t love it). I’m taking a break from eating processed sugar because I broke out like a teenager this past week from eating cake, chocolate, and Chicago Mix Popcorn in one night. I also have been eating a lot of sandwiches recently (mostly BLTs), so I haven’t really cooked anything notable, but I don’t feel guilty about it at all — it’s summer, baby!
Big tune of the past couple of weeks, more like!
Ria! I turned 30 in May and can relate to this so much. Keep putting your newsletter out and just writing your thoughts on life in general. I've also been mourning my youth, and the optimism and positive outlook I had on life in my early 20s. I don't want to become jaded or lose that. Anyway, sending love from NYC <3
happiest belated birthday. i relate to this post so much!!! thank you for sharing